My name is Ira Hoiuk and I'm 20 years old. I grew up in a small town. I have never known who I am and what do I like. I was sure that I have everything – good parents at home, good friends in the town, good scores at the school. But I felt that it is not enough. I wanted more, but I did not know what exactly.
When I went to the university, everything had changed. I realized that I can do whatever I want.
It was the crazy time. I started to travel a lot taking part in different projects, which had granted money. I did not care if it will be useful for me, I was thinking only about one thing - "the universe gives me a chance to try everything. I want to feel and I want to learn as much as possible". I was really eager to travel, to get new knowledge, to meet new people.
I started to work as a freelancer. I needed money, so I started to write articles. Unfortunately, the pay was not enough for me. However, I did not know another way how to get money. I wanted to feel more independent and mature. At the same time, I totally hated this job.
After the first year of my university, I had found a new job. I got the position of the editor-in-chief in a corporate magazine of a Swiss company. The first serious job and a lot of responsibilities. I could not sleep during that month. I tried to do everything perfectly. I was focused on this magazine and could not think about something else. Finally, when I quit that job, I had been disappointed in myself. "I could do it better". For me, it was the first experience and the first fault.
In the second year, I found another job. I needed to finish part of the practice for my university, so I went to work for online media at Lutsk. One year earlier, I was at their school for journalists, so they already have known me and accepted me.
It was such a difficult month. I lived in another city and every day I have been driving to the office by bus for almost 2 hours. Day per day I worked hard – a lot of events, a lot of work. My phone showed me 20-25 km per day – I walked these kilometres by foot. I was back home every day at 8-9 in the evening and I was too exhausted to do something else. I understood that being a reporter is not for me.
Although they liked how I worked. At least, this company suggested me to open online media in my town and to be editor-in-chief there. I was thinking about it a lot. Am I really ready for this job? It could be the first online media for the town where live 4000 people, and for a region, where live almost 30 000 people. I was really afraid. I said, "yes, I will do it".
After that, it has been so much working every day. I walked to the university with my laptop and worked every free minute. The first month was so challenging for me. I had not enough experience to be working like that. My readers saw it and left bad comments about my articles. Emotionally, I felt too bad and disappoint again. However, I continued to work and to improve my skills. It was my personal challenge and finally I did it. Bad comments disappeared, and people started to write me "great job, thank you, we have never saw how looks a good journalist work".
One day a woman called me from Portugal and said "Thank you so much for your work. I have to work abroad, but it is really important to me to know about my motherland". I was crying after her words. That work was too difficult, but so important.
After half a year I understood that I did my best at this position and I have to continue my way.
Where? How? What do I want? What I really like to do?
I have not the answers.